oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
