No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
