friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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