dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
