Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
