everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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