She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
