Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
