Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize