You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
