And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Two words: blizzard sex
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
