she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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