Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
