every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
