Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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