But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
