I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize