Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
