have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
