dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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