Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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