Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
