Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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