He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
