got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
