I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
