First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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