Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
