i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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