This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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