make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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