I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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