we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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