Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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