Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
