i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
