Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize