Don't make out with my wife yet
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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