Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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