I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
