i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
