i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
