he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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