i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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