I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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