OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
