that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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