he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
