Joe is yelling at the trees again.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
