I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
