Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
