dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
