Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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