Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
