That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
last night I used snow as a chaser
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
