does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
