Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
