This show inspires me to have sex in space
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I AM VODKA MAN
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
