what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
