Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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