Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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