remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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